My lack of penis being the first, and my status as a “traitor” trailing behind in a close second place. Loves me for it, even though I have two strikes against me. I don’t know, something monumental, something that carries weight and importance-something more than the truth.Īnd the truth is, us Levis are notoriously notable for only one thing: football. You know, something inspiring, like curing a rare disease or establishing a school for god-knows-what or proving, once and for all, that aliens exist and Earth isn’t the sole survivable planet. Growing up, I always pretended the honor was bestowed upon us because someone in my family did the world a good deed. But here I am, playing with the decades-old football that the Golden Fleece keeps around for whenever a Levi enters the pub.
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